Do you remember when you were a child at a party playing ‘Pass the parcel’? If you were like me you will recall how quickly everyone passed the parcel round at first. How when the music stopped, the wrapping would come off quickly in the knowledge that the prize was some way down. Wrapped tightly below many layers. Then, when everyone thought they were getting closer to the prize, how you held onto it that little bit longer, hoping that the music would stop with it in your hands.
Oh the anticipation!
If you were the lucky winner, you would liberate the secret from within, with excitement and exaltation.
I was thinking about how we all have a hidden treasure within us. Often we don’t know what this treasure is. Just like the hidden prize in ‘pass the parcel’, our treasure will remain a secret unless the wrappings are removed.
This hidden treasure could hold the answer to so many questions about ourselves.
Why you’re afraid; afraid of new things, of change or sharing your art. Why you think you’re not good enough, why you don’t think you’ll get that job, why you can’t finish things on time, why you won’t speak out in meetings.
There is so much about our behaviour that we don’t challenge or question.
We just accept that it’s something that we can’t change. It’s part of us. It’s who we are.
You’re assuming these things about yourself are true.
And these untrue assumptions are driving your behaviour. They’re stopping you reaching your true potential.
So what if I was to tell you that an assumption is something that is accepted as true without needing any proof.
This means that we are making conclusions about ourselves based on something that is not true. Put like that, it seems an odd thing to do. Therefore, the assumptions we make are limiting our growth.
Where does an assumption come from? Where does it start?
As we go through life, we observe what’s going on around us. We take on information in that moment and add meaning to it. Based on this meaning, we then make an assumption. We draw conclusions on these assumptions and adopt beliefs. We then take action based on these beliefs. This cycle continues to loop over time. We search for similar meanings to confirm our belief. This belief then becomes our truth.
Let me illustrate with an example.
Imagine that when you were 12 you auditioned for a part in the school play. You didn’t get the part. You decide that you didn’t get it because you saw people laughing when you did your audition. You assumed that they were laughing at you. You then went on to conclude they were laughing because you weren’t any good. You felt stupid. The next day the teacher announces the person who has been given the part. They’re in your class. You look at them and they seem so much better than you. More confident, more beautiful and more talented. You think that you shouldn’t ever have gone for it. How could you possibly have thought that you could get this part.
Over time, this belief about yourself becomes embedded and your behaviour seeks out confirmation of your belief. You become fearful of trying new things. You don’t put yourself in a position that could attract attention or ridicule (in your eyes).
You can live out your life on an assumption. Something that isn’t the truth.
If I was to ask you ‘what are you assuming that is stopping you trying new things?’
And then you answer ‘I don’t think I’d be any good at……’
And then I ask you ‘Do you believe that is the truth? What are your reasons for believing that?’
We start to take off the wrappings of the parcel. Gradually, as each wrapper is taken away you are getting closer and closer to that hidden treasure of yours. The one that holds the answer. The one that holds the liberating true belief.
I help women unwrap the layers so that they find their truth.
Please contact me if you’d like to know how I can help you.