My husband and I decided to have our first child after watching Kramer vs Kramer. For those who may not know, this is a film from 1979 starring Meryl Streep and Dustin Hoffman and is about a custody battle and divorce; hardly the motivation to start a family! It was something about the child in the film and the vulnerability of that child. Still pretty odd I know, but shortly after watching that film, I was pregnant.
That was all it took to make that decision. A decision where my needs would always be secondary. A decision that changed my life for ever. No questions asked.
Once you are a parent, your life is never your own……at least not for a long time. And then of course, you have more children that demand more of you. More of your time, your love, your thoughts…you’re responsible for someone else 24/7.
And yet….if I was to ask you ‘what do want for your future?’ and you answer ‘I want to do something great with my life. Something that fulfils me as a woman. Something that makes me feel valued, gives me freedom and flexibility, challenges me and makes me feel truly alive’. And then I ask ‘and are you doing this?’ And you reply ‘No…..’ I ask ‘What is stopping you?’ And you say ‘Fear. Fear that I’m not good enough, I won’t succeed, I’m too old, not sure I have the skills….etc’
Now, if you’re a mother or intending on having children, did you/would you feel the same sense of fear and doubt about having a child? Would your mind be full of reasons why you couldn’t do this? Even though you know this will change your life forever, would you let fear stop you?
For me, I had no fear about having a child (until it was time to give birth….) I hadn’t really given it much thought. I knew that I wanted a child and that was enough.
And yet, when it comes to women changing what isn’t working for them, doing a job they are just tolerating, suffocating their dreams and ambitions for a list of excuses, I say ‘this is nothing like as scary as bringing a child into the world. You did this without fear. Taking a leap of courage towards what you want is nothing like as scary as raising a child’.
Whether you have children or not, ask yourself ‘why aren’t I doing what I want in my life?’
Find the courage to start. It may feel scary but it’s time to set yourself free.
Book a free coaching session with me and begin your journey of transformation.